Heart of Management

Category: Human Resources

  • The courage to speak up… smells very different when you do it right

    Following last week’s post

    the one about how the opposite of courage isn’t fear, but avoidance

    today we’re diving into the first kind of courage.

    There are moments in management

    when the room feels filled with the distinct scent of

    “I want to say something… but maybe this isn’t the right time.”

    It’s a familiar smell.

    A subtle mix of lukewarm coffee,

    an air conditioner working a little too hard,

    and papers shuffling not because anyone needs them,

    but just to fill the silence.

    And then the classic lines appear:

    “Well… only if that’s okay…”

    “I don’t want to interrupt, but…”

    “I just have a small point… really small…”

    (And if you’re anything like me,

    you recognize those sentences in yourself too.

    Yes, I’m looking at you. And at me.)

    And here comes the truth,

    the kind that sometimes stings

    like a metal chair in a conference room:

    The courage to speak up isn’t about raising your volume.

    It’s about raising your intent.

    You don’t need to shout.

    You don’t need to demand.

    You don’t need to give a speech.

    Sometimes courage sounds like a short sentence,

    said calmly,

    at the exact moment everyone was hoping

    someone would be willing to say

    what everyone else was already feeling.

    And sometimes courage sounds like this instead:

    “Let’s talk about this one-on-one.”

    Because here’s the truth:

    the courage to speak up isn’t about

    who spoke the loudest,

    but about who chose the right arena.

    When you say the right thing,

    in the right way,

    to the right person,

    in the right room

    your message passes through layers of defense

    as if they were a thin curtain,

    not a fortified wall.

    And then something beautiful happens:

    Your team doesn’t just hear you.

    They feel you.

    In their chest. In their gut.

    In the place where real change is born.

    And this

    this is the first kind of courage

    that separates

    a manager who gets work done

    from a leader who actually moves people.

    Before you scroll on, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

    If today you removed just one

    “only if that’s okay…”

    and replaced it with one clear sentence of truth

    what would you talk about?

    (Don’t answer me.

    Answer yourself.

    That’s where the courage muscle starts to grow.)

    Next post, we’ll move on to the second kind of courage:

    the courage to trust.

    The one that decides whether you keep holding

    357 tasks by yourself,

    or finally start building a team

    that actually walks with you.

    (Hint: it takes more courage than it looks.)

  • 💔 Turns out the opposite of courage… isn’t fear at all

    (Yes, and I learned this from a woman with a tattoo.)

    The Zoom call started like any other one.

    Camera on.

    Hot coffee in hand.

    And then she appeared on screen.

    A senior education leader.

    Responsible for the professional development of over 6,000 teachers.

    And from the very first moment, it was clear:

    this was someone you couldn’t ignore.

    Sharp presence. Big smile.

    A tattoo on her arm (and that’s where I paused, I didn’t ask what it said).

    And a feeling in the room like

    someone had just opened a window after a very long day.

    She didn’t raise her voice.

    But she was the kind of person who walks into a room

    and the noise instinctively pulls up a chair.

    We talked about leadership. About change.

    About what actually holds people together from the inside.

    And then she said something simple:

    “The opposite of courage?

    It’s not fear.

    It’s avoidance.”

    One of those sentences that makes you stop mid-sip.

    Fear is loud.

    You can feel it. You can name it.

    Avoidance is quiet.

    It slips under the radar.

    It doesn’t shout, it whispers.

    And it shows up in a manager’s life

    long before they realize what’s happening…

    stealing years of growth and effectiveness along the way.

    Then she added one more thing:

    “There are three kinds of courage.”

    And that’s where the connection became mine.

    Managerial.

    Deep.

    She only named them.

    My mind filled in the rest:

    🩵 The courage to speak up

    Truth. Authenticity. Navigating organizational politics

    without paying unnecessary prices.

    🩵 The courage to trust

    Letting go. Delegating.

    Stopping yourself from holding 357 tasks with two hands.

    🩵 The courage to experiment

    Innovation. Mistakes. Learning. Change.

    Actually moving reality—not just moving the cursor.

    And suddenly it all snapped into focus:

    “Managerial stuckness” isn’t personality.

    It’s not workload.

    It’s not character.

    It’s usually one form of courage

    that’s been left unattended for too long.

    So before you scroll on

    Do a quick internal audit:

    Which kind of courage

    are you most actively avoiding?

    Because right there

    exactly there

    your next big leadership shift begins.

    📌 Next week, I’ll open up the first one: the courage to speak up.

    And I promise it will change how you see your team, your boss,

    and yourself.

    📌 And by the way… there’s one more kind of courage.

    Just as deep.

    The courage to change.

    That one deserves a post of its own.

    (Hint: it’s the habits managers pay the highest price for.)

  • 💊 When There’s No Meaning, Compassion Gets Stuck in the System

    A little while ago, I went through a minor medical procedure.

    Nothing dramatic until the pain showed up.

    And it didn’t just visit… it moved in.

    I asked for painkillers.

    “No problem,” they said.

    They just needed to open a file, get the doctor’s signature,

    have the nurse approve it

    and make sure all the stars in the universe lined up.

    My wife fierce as a lioness went to the reception desk.

    But the clerk wasn’t there.

    She called her name a few times.

    When she finally came, she was in the middle of a chat with a friend.

    “I’m busy for a moment,” the clerk said.

    My wife, gentle but firm, the kind of gentle that comes

    from watching someone you love twist in pain

    insisted she finish the call and open my file.

    From there, it turned into a pilgrimage of signatures,

    forms, approvals, and waiting.

    Almost an hour until I finally got something

    to take the edge off the pain.

    An hour that never should’ve happened.

    I lay there

    not angry, not complaining

    just thinking.

    If that clerk only realized

    that for her it was “just another file,”

    but for me it was another unnecessary sting of pain

    everything would have looked different.

    Not because she didn’t care,

    but because no one ever explained

    what helping really means.

    And it’s exactly the same in organizations.

    When people don’t understand the meaning behind their actions,

    they stop seeing the person and start seeing the procedure.

    Because when there’s no meaning,

    compassion gets stuck in the system.

    So tell me

    in your team,

    do they understand the procedures,

    or the people behind them?

    Because real leadership begins right there

    in that moment you realize

    that behind every “just another request,”

    there’s someone waiting to be seen.

  • Management Is a Masterclass in Letting Go

    You know what’s the most frustrating thing about being a manager?

    Even when you’re right it doesn’t always help. 😅

    Because management isn’t about control.

    It’s a lifelong practice in letting go.

    Not the chaotic kind

    but the kind that’s built on trust.

    And don’t say no one warned you…

    There were days when I delegated a task

    and everything went exactly as I imagined.

    (Yes, it happens like a solar eclipse once a decade.)

    And there were other days

    when delegation felt like a science experiment gone wrong.

    Papers everywhere, phones ringing,

    and me staring at the screen,

    smelling the virtual smoke of a burning deadline.

    But then there are the surprising moments

    when I delegate, thinking I know exactly how it should look,

    and the team takes it somewhere completely different.

    Not like mine. Not by the book.

    But… better.

    That mix of relief and pride?

    It’s like taking your hands off the wheel

    and realizing the car keeps going straight.

    Here’s something no leadership course will tell you:

    Real leadership is about releasing control wisely.

    Not to everyone, not all the time.

    But to the right person, for the right task,

    and then giving them room to breathe.

    Because when a manager tries to control everything,

    they eventually lose control of themselves.

    But when a leader gives trust,

    they discover the world keeps moving

    even when they stop holding on so tightly.

    💡 Manager’s Tip

    Next time you delegate, leave a little room for surprise.

    Someone on your team might just show you a better way.

    👀 Your turn:

    How much space do you leave

    for others to surprise you

    not your way,

    but theirs?

  • How Not to Become Your Team’s Personal Tech Support Line

    Let’s be honest,

    if every little question keeps bouncing back to you,

    you’re not managing…

    you’re basically a walking version of Google.

    (Just without the search engine or Incognito mode 😅)

    But here’s a simple practice

    that can break that loop once and for all:

    Next time someone comes to you with a question,

    instead of firing off an instant answer,

    try one of these three responses:

    “What do you think we should do?” “What options do you see?” “What did you learn from this for next time?”

    These three questions work like magic.

    They put the ball back in your employee’s court,

    get them thinking,

    and send a clear signal:

    I trust you to figure this out.

    At first, it’ll take some restraint.

    (Feel free to bite your lip or sip your coffee slowly

    especially if you’re mid-Zoom call 😉)

    But soon enough,

    you’ll notice a shift.

    They’ll start showing up with solutions,

    not just problems.

    And you?

    You’ll finally feel like you’re managing people

    not running the company’s help desk.

    So tell me

    which of these three questions

    are you going to try first thing tomorrow morning?

  • “The Only Engineer in a World of Managers”

    A boardroom.

    Twenty managers in crisp, corporate-blue dress shirts,

    standard charcoal-gray slacks,

    and body language that said, “We were born to lead.”

    And then there was me.

    Jeans, a bargain shirt from the outlet mall,

    and a face that said, “Did someone invite me here by mistake?”

    Back then, I was the only engineer

    in a world of managers.

    There was no promotion track for engineers.

    The only way forward

    was to cross over into management.

    So when a management position opened up,

    I wanted it, badly.

    But instead of giving me the chance,

    they hired someone from the outside.

    Why?

    Because I was a “great engineer”…

    but not a manager.

    It was like telling a chef

    his food is extraordinary

    but he’s not qualified to run a kitchen.

    That’s when it hit me:

    In organizations, being good at your craft isn’t enough.

    You have to project leadership potential

    long before you get the title.

    Ever felt like you were ready to take the next step,

    only to watch someone else leap ahead of you?

  • “We Sat. We Talked. We Almost Threw Punches.”

    Okay, not really.

    But you know that silence in a meeting

    when everyone’s eyes are screaming?

    I was leading a brand-new management team.

    Some were seasoned veterans with tons of experience.

    Others were new, sharp, hungry.

    A winning mix?

    On paper, yes.

    In practice? More like putting peanut butter on sushi—interesting, but… it doesn’t exactly go down easy.

    There were arguments.

    Drama.

    Hallway chatter.

    Small tensions that turned into big stories.

    Every discussion felt like a fight.

    Every decision, a vote of no confidence.

    Something had to give.

    And then something simple happened:

    we opened a process.

    Not a box-checking, corporate exercise.

    A real one.

    One that taught us how to give feedback.

    How to stop shooting and start talking.

    Feedback not as a reaction, but as a tool.

    Not just to vent, but to move things forward.

    Slowly, things shifted.

    The energy balanced out.

    Fights turned into conversations.

    The cynicism cooled down.

    And those eyes stopped screaming.

    The insight?

    Conflict doesn’t disappear.

    It just changes form.

    And when people learn how to argue,

    they also learn when to compromise.

    So here’s the question:

    Does your team know how to fight to get stronger?

    Or are they just fighting?

  • A young, sharp manager sat across from me.

    “I want a promotion,” he said.

    “I’ve earned it. I work hard, I deliver results, I go above and beyond.”

    I listened. I nodded.

    Then I asked him one question:

    “Tell me, how do you think leaders actually make promotion decisions?”

    He went silent.

    Not because he didn’t know the answer

    but because he didn’t realize that was even the question.

    And that’s when I thought back to myself, years ago.

    When I wanted my very first promotion.

    And I felt like there was this glass wall I couldn’t break through.

    I was a good employee, well-regarded…

    but not “promotion material.”

    Why? I had no idea.

    So I did what most people do:

    Took another course. Worked even harder. Sacrificed more.

    And still couldn’t figure out why nothing was happening.

    Until I started asking different questions:

    Maybe I’m thinking like an employee, when I should be thinking like a leader. Maybe I’m trying to stand out in ways no one actually cares about. Maybe I’m pouring my energy into the wrong things. Or maybe, just maybe no one has ever shown me what the real path looks like.

    Since then, my work has been to uncover that path, step by step:

    How to think like the people who make the decisions. How to figure out what’s really holding you back. How to turn your everyday work into a quiet stage for influence. How to ask for a promotion, without apologizing or shrinking yourself. And how, once it happens, not to settle, but to ask, “What’s next? What’s the next level?”

    It’s not magic.

    And it’s definitely not luck.

    It’s a method. Pure and simple.

    פ

  • “Your Best Candidate? Might Not Even Make It Past the Filters.”

    It always starts the same way.

    You sit down with HR.

    Open the spreadsheet.

    Go through the checklist:

    Degree. Experience. Background.

    Olympic-level Excel skills.

    You tick boxes.

    Cross off names.

    Tighten the filters.

    And you’re left with five.

    Five candidates who all look…

    basically the same.

    Same language.

    Same path.

    Same boundaries.

    And then comes the frustration:

    “There’s no excellence here. No spark.”

    But really—what did you expect?

    You wrote a spec for a robot.

    And you’re surprised Einstein didn’t show up?

    I’ve seen this play out time and time again:

    A massive pool of fresh grads—hungry, talented, lacking only experience.

    Another of older professionals—even retirees—with a lifetime of knowledge.

    And they all have one thing in common:

    The system filters them out.

    Not because they’re not good.

    But because they don’t fit the fine print.

    My turning point?

    I once pushed for a candidate who didn’t meet a single formal requirement.

    But something about him stood out.

    When they asked:

    “Why are you insisting on him?”

    I said:

    “Because I’m not hiring a checklist.

    I’m hiring a human being.”

    Since then, I’ve been drawn to people who don’t fit neatly into boxes:

    • The ones who haven’t done it—yet—but clearly can.

    • The ones who don’t look like everyone else, but see further.

    • The ones who’ll challenge me, not just blend in.

    So here’s the agenda:

    If you truly want excellence—

    don’t be afraid to go off-spec.

    Because the best people weren’t born ISO-compliant.

    They were born with a spark.

    And with a bit of courage,

    you can be the one who gives it space to catch fire.

  • The Dishwasher Was Empty.

    But She Was Still Standing There.

    I was proud of myself.

    The dishwasher was empty.

    Dishes were clean. Counters wiped down.

    Just like in the commercials.

    Then my wife walked in.

    She looked around.

    Said nothing.

    Just stood there, hands on hips, eyebrows raised.

    You know the look.

    I smiled like a hero and said,

    “All done!”

    She didn’t smile back.

    She just tilted her chin toward the counter:

    “What about that?”

    And yeah…

    The counter did look like someone made a tuna sandwich in the dark.

    But in my head?

    Not my problem.

    I had a task: dishwasher.

    Mission accomplished.

    Then she hit me with this:

    “You’re not taking a math test.

    It’s not about what was assigned.

    It’s about seeing the whole picture.”

    Boom.

    Right there, holding a dish towel in one hand and a coffee cup in the other,

    I saw it all.

    My team.

    My coworkers.

    The familiar phrases:

    “That’s not my responsibility.”

    “I did my part.”

    “No one told me…”

    And it hit me

    That’s the difference between an employee and a leader.

    Employees wait for assignments.

    Leaders notice what’s needed.

    Sure, the dishwasher was empty.

    But my brain?

    It was full.

    Because I finally understood:

    It doesn’t matter how well you executed your task

    if you missed the bigger picture.

    Since that day at home and at work

    I stopped asking “What was I told to do?”

    And started asking:

    “What’s really needed right now?”

    Ever had one of those moments where you were so focused on the task,

    you forgot to look up and see the full picture?